It was just after 2 a.m. on a pitch-black Friday morning when Bernadette Greene-Placentia’s life changed. The Democratic candidate for Congressional District 8 strolled across a parking lot to repair a damaged campaign sign. It was a routine she’d followed all summer. This time, she only made it a few yards.
An attacker smashed her over the head. She blacked out. She woke up to find a strange man on top of her.
Greene-Placentia struggled to open her eyes. She felt a sharp pain below her waist. The attacker was pulling his penis out of her.
She heard him mumble something like, “-ic bitch, not a very good fuck,” which her mind filled in as “Democratic bitch,” she recalled. She wasn’t sure that was exactly what he said.
One leg was out of her jean capris. She wore brand-new tennis shoes and a campaign t-shirt. Another man came over. Greene-Placentia felt his weight nudging her left leg further apart. She began swinging her foot at him. “Not even worth it,” she heard the man say as he moved away. He wore black boots and had small feet, she recalled.
The two men left Greene-Placentia face down in the parking lot. The hatch of her silver Jeep Grand Cherokee was still open. The car was still running. She heard music.
She doesn’t remember pulling up her pants or picking herself off the asphalt parking lot. She doesn’t remember closing her Jeep’s hatch and putting her foot on the gas. She doesn’t remember pulling her car into the driveway and collapsing into her bed.
“It’s just these little tiny flashes of things that I do remember,” Greene-Placentia said in an interview with Phoenix New Times. “As much as I don’t want to remember, I’ve tried very, very hard to remember more stuff. But that’s where I’m at.”
I’m sick and tired of men telling me that rape culture doesn’t exist, that rape victims should have done something different, they should have worn something different, they should have not gone out alone, I’m fucking sick of all of it.
We have a problem with misogyny and rape in this country. It doesn’t exist in a vacuum on its own.
Trump is merely a symptom of the rot.
I’m reminded that there are some cultures where, if people want to reserve a seat in a restaurant or something, they’ll leave their purse or wallet there unguarded. And nobody steals it. That’s their culture.
So, I think when people claim rape culture doesn’t exist, they don’t understand what that means. If rape culture didn’t exist, then it would make no difference what a woman was wearing or what she was doing. She would be able to feel safe and feel confident that nothing would happen to her. That’s so far off of American culture right now that it’s not even debatable.
Tbh we also have a problem with misogyny on the threadiverse.
Why does this have downvotes? Someone got raped and OP is justifiably mad about the state of things, why do people here feel that’s something to take issue with?
We really like to feel progressive and like we’re fighting the good fight here, until someone posts a sexist meme and you see what the comment section looks like, and it becomes clear a lot of folks haven’t interrogated how they look at women or women’s issues even a little bit since leaving reddit
Some of the downvotes are because I am one of the few voices on the fediverse speaking out against those sexist memes and such. There are some people that don’t like outspoken women and I have a few stalkers that are very dedicated.
But as you can see from other comments, there is a problem with misogyny here. The kneejerk questioning of rape victims is just one sign of it.
That is unsurprising and also upsetting. That shit makes me sad.
People love to pat themselves on the back for being one of the good guys until they actually have to do work to confront the things they’ve been taught and have internalized, and engage with the fact that they’ve allowed themseveled to be comfortable with some shit they shouldn’t be.
And its frustrating. I see casual sexism here more often than any other brand of bigotry.
I was reading a comment in a post today that was about becoming a regular at places was how to build community. The comment was from a disabled and moderately attractive (direct quote from the commenter) woman who said she avoided becoming a regular because people felt that they could take advantage of her if they knew her routine.
And it just made me sad. Nobody should have to go through that. Nobody should feel ostracized because they are afraid someone will abuse them.
I had, and for the most part still do, agree that it’s generally good to become a regular at a place. But I hadn’t thought of it from that woman’s perspective before and I respect and understand her decision.
Thank you, genuinely, for understanding her point of view instead of becoming defensive.
You have (at least) a few fans too.
I have a deep respect and appreciation of your posts and commentary. We sure as shit don’t have enough people like you.
Agreed! I love seeing velma’s posts. She always has something helpful to add to the conversation.
I really appreciate that, TaterTot :3
Hopefully with enough time and stubbornness, more people like us will feel more comfortable here in the Fediverse!
I don’t have you tagged since you’re quite visible here, but I notice and respect your opinions, even if I don’t always completely agree with them. Please keep up the fight, we need more passionate people who are willing to speak their minds.
I was listening to an excerpt of Jimmy Carr interview a few days ago in which he was arguing that one of best ways to combat toxic masculinity was to encourage young men to go down to the pub with the lads. That men in groups will keep checks on others within the group.
I respect Carr and his crusade against toxic masculinity, but I am a guy and a lifelong feminist (thanks mom) that grew up in an extremely misogynistic culture. Sure, my friends would have kept me in check, but that’s because we were always a mixed gender and sexuality group. Most “lads” crews I knew, once drunk and rowdy, were more likely to gang rape a girl than not if she told them off. Sorry Jimmy, humans are still way to close to close to chimp to be left unchecked.
Something tells me that Jimmy “Riyadh Comedy Festival” Carr doesn’t take ethics entirely seriously.
I don’t know how feminist I’d consider him. As I recall, he and Stephen Fry both drifted right in their politics over the past decade or so:
Stephen Fry ended up praising Jordan Peterson or some such, Carr started talking anti-woke politics on podcasts after being “cancelled” by a heckler.
From a student news website:
https://thestudentnews.co.uk/2022/03/03/the-charge-of-the-woke-brigade-the-case-against-jimmy-carr/
He tried to defend the Holocaust joke by saying it brings attention to non-jewish victims of the Holocaust which earned him every comedians highest achievement when going anti-woke - being defended by Jeremy Clarkson.
He’s afraid of losing his own status. He’s a right wing tool.
I only know him for his, as of late, takes on toxic masculinity. Some are good, and some (like the one I highlighted) are dreadful.
I think it’s much more prevalent than people want to admit.
Otherwise, spontaneous gang rapes wouldn’t occur with such frequency. Why are there always so many men that are up for it randomly? What are the odds, yeah? Seriously, that wouldn’t be possible if it was a rarity.
They’ll rape animals and men, too, because they’re rapists. Women and children are smaller, so they are preyed on much more, but if all women disappeared tomorrow, they’d still rape whomever/whatever else they could.
Sure, this could be a political ploy in this case, I know nothing. But the reason such a ploy is believable is because it’s so common.
It’s way more prevalent than most men want to admit, that’s for sure.
Women have either been victims themselves or know someone who has been a victim. The rate is close to 1 in 3 women have been raped.
It’s 1 in 5, but it is still a lot and way too high.
It depends if you’re looking worldwide or at the US. It also depends if you’re looking at reported cases vs unreported.
But yes, it’s still way too high.
And rape vs sexual violence. 1:2 will experience some type of sexual violence.
What the fucking shit… This makes me gag! God fucking damnit, I hate men… and I’m saying that as a man!
Republican women are some of the most vocal rape deniers. It’s not about hating genders, it’s about the people that promote a culture where these behaviors flourish.
It’s still men doing most of the rape and sexual assault, which is what P1nkman was referring with their outrage.
I hate this game we all have to play - avoiding saying which gender it is that perpetrates rape and sexual assault the most.
It’s men. Men do it the most. Not all men rape, but overwhelmingly it’s men who rape others - women, children, and other men.
Understood.
“men” is not a fixable problem.
Republican culture is
How is male behavior not a fixable problem? Stop making excuses
This is not just in Republican culture.
Don’t fully agree. While rapist are so commonly men (to the point of it being functionally ubiquitous), not all men are rapists or sexual assaulters. The rates of men who are is also not uniform globally (just compare Uttar Pradesh to… basically anywhere). And while correlation isn’t causation, it still heavily implies that there is a cultural element that can be curbed (i.e. Rape Culture).
While I don’t have the hard answers to fix the problem, I don’t really accept the easy “it can’t be done” answers here either. We can change the culture, and that has to start by not hand waving away key statistics like “rapists are predominantly men.”
Unless the advice to the victim is ‘should have ripped off his balls’ or ‘knifed him in the dick’, it’s all bullshit.
Rapists need to suffer. Not get promoted up the ranks of the Epstein class.
I heard good things about going for the eyes and throat.
I’m not excusing rapists’ shitty behavior, but, as you said, this is far more prevalent than many of us would like. Not accepting that fact and taking steps to reduce the risk is a poor choice. I don’t turn my back on a dog I don’t know, and a woman driving around by herself and getting out of her car in the middle of the night in unpopulated areas is leaving herself at risk as a target of opportunity or even a planned attack.
Again, not saying this is okay or the way things should be, but is a realistic view of the world we live in. The talk about clothes or behavior, though (beyond that which exposes you to risk), is completely beside the point. Predators will attack targets. Stop the predators. Don’t be an easy target. Both of those should be done, but only one can reasonably be done on an individual basis.
And no, none of that makes this in any way her fault. That rests squarely on her attackers.
Jfc, you can’t get out of your car at 2 a.m. if you are a woman in Arizona?
Apparently not.
Yeah, or how they should not have been convicted of a crime they may or may not have committed and sentenced to the most concentrated and well documented rape culture in modern history, male prisons. Obviously rape cultures exist. I agree with you.
False rape allegations happen, but they’re much more rare than actual rape.
The amount of support prison rape has in society is a real part of our rape culture. When rape is celebrated as a valid punishment, it helps support the same rape culture that supports questioning victims’ stories. That they must have done something to deserve it.
It’s all tied together.
I was not refering to false rape allegations.
Then you should be more clear.
Or you shouldn’t make assumptions.
You’re welcome to clarify your statement.
Which part do you need help understanding?
Everything. I read your statement twice and it reads the way Velma assumed because you didn’t say what you meant and just beat around the bush. You may think you said one thing, but you communicated another.
And you are still refusing to say what you actually mean. If you can’t distill your point into one simple sentence, then you don’t have anything worth saying.
Alright, now you’re just being deliberately obtuse. Either clarify your comment or don’t but just stop wasting everyone’s time with this playing dumb act.
Which measures or actions do rape victims need to complete before the wider public believes they’ve been raped? I’ll go ahead and condense our two conversations into one right here.