Oh man. I’m sorry to hear that. It sounds like you’re having a tough time. Far be it from me to ask, so don’t feel as though you need to, but are you getting any professional help? It has been enormously beneficial to me in the past and I highly recommend it. I’ve had a rough year myself as my baby daughter sadly passed away. At times it doesn’t feel like there is much left to life other than your current state of mind but if you can assure yourself that’s not the case and that things will gradually get better then they will. I wish you luck in your struggle.

That story about the sexism sounds like the result of entrenched views on masculinity and ignorance. Absolutely daft. Hopefully you taught her a lesson that day. I find younger people generally more understanding of the equality between genders (excluding all the manosphere bollocks). I’m positive it will keep improving as it has done steadily over the years, though more acceptance would be better!

Thank you for the blog. I’ll try and make sense of it aha. I’ll read the Nitter post too when I’m ready. Have you ever watched Adam Curtis documentaries? He’s incredible. There was a clip where some Asian shop owners in the 80s were beong harassed by drunk Englishmen in a really racially abusive manner. It made me realise that whilst we have a long way to go the current attitudes are also quite a distance from where they used to be.

Side note: Do you partake in any form of political activism? As a not very young but not very old person I’m sort of stuck looking for ways to make a difference in the community and have some kind of impact on change, even if it’s small. You seem like someone who would possibly have ideas about all that. I could be wrong!

Right. I agree with everything you said.

I don’t see this as a problem with Israel though.

This a problem with the way the USA. The way billionaires use their wealth to spread their political beliefs and influence.

Israel is a benefactor, like the far right figures he also bankrolls.

The issue for me is the USA’s failure to police the rich elite and stop them from using their money to meddle in foreign affairs.

It’s been an issue long before Trump and under Trump it’s getting much worse. They are the enemy for me. The oligarchs of America.

Am I reading this right?

To me that reads that Robert Shillman is funding both Israeli interests and far right interests.

There’s a link but that doesn’t mean that Israel are doing the funding? Quite the opposite. They’re taking cash from some absolute arsehole who is also funding a load of far right agitators.

Have I missed something? I am not being obtuse.

Wow. Thanks for the in depth response! Really appreciate it.

Reading some of those stories is slightly disheartening. The world is such a fucked up place and hard to make sense of when you’re growing up without people discriminating against you for something you have no control over. It makes me incredibly angry that people behave on that sort of way. Really thought we had turned a corner after the whole "all muslims are terrorists’ bollocks of the 2000s as well. I have seen videos of what it was like in the 1980s and 90s and it was horrific. Surely we would never return to that. Surely.

It was interesting reading that there seems to be some different versions of the same discriminatory behaviour even within your community as well as being victims of it. It’s baffling to be honest. I know it’s not as simple as “lets all hug it out” but surely those that seek tolerance should also be practicing it. I’m guessing there’s a lot of cultural history related to it that I’m not currently aware of. Still, it’s interesting.

It sounds like your experiences, whilst you wouldn’t wish them of anyone, have given you a preparedness for when people say and do stup pidly intolerant things. I guess it helps build character in a morbid way. You handled it well.

London is something I’m thankful for in terms of the cultural diversity. I’m in Surrey just outside of it so it’s much quieter but also much less diverse. Everyone is very well behaved and tolerant where I live but perhaps because there’s very little to tolerate. There are big Muslim communities in Surrey though and they seem to thrive but there’s not much reason to visit unless you practice Islam. I do go to London and enjoy a few things though and it’s great to see all different types of people getting along.

Are you aware of the narrative that right wing influencers are trying to peddle at the moment in terms of London being a crime ridden hellscape? It’s laughable. Completely shows they need that sense of fear and division in people to make their messaging effective. I’m guessing where are in there is nothing of the sort! Hopefully aha.

Can I ask, why do you think you experience sexism more than any other form of discrimination these days then? Do you think it’s due to the whole “manosphere” Andrew Tate rubbish or just a failure of some to change their entrenched views of the other sex? Or both?

America is hopefully a unique case on my view. I think we can make it easier on ourselves jere and in the EU by punishing social media companies and persecuting hate speech. That is impossible in the US due to Freedom of Speech laws so people can spread whatever lies they want. Particularly billionaires. They can also pay as much as they want to influence elections. Again, they can’t here. Our system is a bit more robust. It’s not infallible, I just hope it will stand up better than the US to the tidal wave of right wing propaganda.

Well done for persevering with the autism too. Sounds tough. It’s hard to say as I don’t know you personally but you seem like someone who has their shit together so good on you.

Enjoy the essay back.

Ah. Sorry to hear about your Ex. Sounds like he was in the hole, so to speak. Probably for the best that he is now your Ex! At least you were not persuaded by his opinions out of love and stayed true to your beliefs. It’s staggering that he couldn’t see the contradiction between believing Facism to be the best form of government and having a woman of race as a lover. Many such people often live in denial of the facts to suit their beliefs though, as I’m sure you experienced. Anyway, you can do better!

I find it staggering that people are willing to hold those beliefs about Muslims despite the obvious lack of evidence for such ideas. It’s fear propaganda, pure and simple.

As you are a Muslim woman, of which I sadly know none, may I ask you a question?

I would be curious to hear about your personal experiences with the general public in terms of interactions and people’s behaviour. Excluding your ex of course, I don’t want you to relive personally painful memories. I just mean how do you normally find people that aren’t Muslim treat you in society? Has it got better or worse, or the same over the last 5 years? And do you think it sould be diffrrent if you were not a Muslim? Also do you have connection to a large Muslim community? Would be curious to hear what their reaction has been to all this atrocious hate material.

It sounded like you don’t have much faith in the public attitude, and I’m sorry for that. I will always try and persuade anyone though that there are many good people who are proud of how tolerant and open British society is and are angry these luddites are tarnishing our reputation.

Again, sorry, what makes you say that?

I have seen evidence that he met with Russian officials in 2020 including intelligence operatives.

What ties him to Israel or the UAE?

I understand why you wouldn’t.

An important distinction for me is to believe what you see in the real world vs online.

Online you will see posts with thousands and millions of likes spouting racist, hateful material and it appears as if that is the prevailing opinion. It isn’t. Social media is wide open to manipulation. Many of these likes will come from accounts in Russia, America, Nigeria and even India. It’s a mass manipulation tool.

If you watch the BBC Question Time special on Immigration that is far more representative of the UK. An audience selected to best represent how the UK is polling at the moment.

On that show you will see Reform broadcasting their usual hate messaging around immigration. You will also see good people stand up to them and say they are wrong. You will see all the other politicians on that show condemn Reform as well as the majority of the audience.

I really suggest watching it. The BBC, for all it’s faults, has integrity. That immigration special, filmed around Christmas 2025, really gave me hope that we can stop Reform and that they are not an inevitability. Far from it. We can stop them if we all work together and I believe politicians as well as people will!

That’s very true. The bigger it gets the more the lines blur between who is racist for personal gain and who is racist because they’d full of hate. Eventually the latter takes over everything if the movement grows.

Luckily I believe there are many more good and decent hard working people who would do much to stop Reform from ever getting near power than there are people who would support them. I just hope it’s true.

What makes you say that?

Not disagreeing per say, just wondering.

Farage is a racist but first and foremost he’s a con man. I honestly don’t think he would care if you were or weren’t because it doesn’t give him money, nor take it away. The man wants wealth and power off the back of the British people and if being racist gets it for him, so be it. He’ll be whatever he needs to be to get publicity and get rich. He’s like the political version of a (racist) Britain’s Got Talent contestant.