Are you dating women your own age? I’m a woman in my early 40s and have literally never met a woman my age who thought like this. If you’re dating women ten years younger than you you’ll be selecting for the type who likes to date older men - usually for exactly the reasons you complain about (they want someone to take care of them).
Ever since I turned 35 every women I meet wants this. I have never met a woman who wants an equal partner in dating since I was in my early 30s, over 10 years ago.
Yes I date women my own age. They are the ones who are the most vocal and adamant about it. When I meet women you are under 35, on rare occasional, they tend to be less aggressive about it. For example, women under 35 don’t ask me my salary on a first date, women over 40, almost always do. All they seem to care about is how much money I have and if I am going to give it to them. Like, they ask me to take them on expensive trips, buy them cars, and think going on $500 dinner takes should be a weekly event. They all have advanced degrees, PhDs, JDs, MDs.
And every time I talk about this, I get this comment. ‘oh you must only be dating shallow young women for their looks.’ No, I date average looking women who are my own age, and they almost exclusively want a 1950s style relationship, even when they are doctors, lawyers, etc. their ‘ultimate romantic fantasy’ is to quit their job and be ‘taken care of’.
I also live in Boston, the most educated city in the country, and yet all these educated successful women basically aspire to be financially dependent housewives. It baffles the hell out of me. I put in my profile on dating apps that I want an equal partner and I get weird messages about what loser I am from these women because a man’s job is to provide for her his woman and her career/job should be optional.
Last week I was on a date and this woman I was with told me she values her career and independence BUT she really is looking for a man who ‘take care of her’ such that she doesn’t have to work anymore. And I laughed and said that’s not what I am looking for, I want someone to split bills with and build a life together as a working couple and she got angry with me. Then when the check came she was like ‘WELL I GUESS I SHOULD SPLIT THE BIll’ all bitter and shit. It was miserable. This is like 90% of my dates, it’s the same stuff every time, it’s like they all copy pasted from the same script…
women’s social media is rife with this 1950s shit. all my friends and family are in partnerships where they both work and split bills and raise kids together. but on the singles dating market in my city, I never ever meet any such women who want that type of life. I probably should try to date at 25 year olds, because when I was 25 I was with a girlfriend who wanted to split bills and pay her own way. but in my life experience, once women hit 35 they decide they hate being independent career women and ‘deserve’ to be ‘taken care of’. when i was younger I never met women who talked that way.
I can’t argue against your lived experience, but it doesn’t match mine at all. Maybe they’re all sick of dating irresponsible losers and this is some misguided screening technique? Good luck out there, it sounds like you’re having a difficult time finding someone you like!
They think I’m an irresponsible loser because I don’t make 500K a year and own two vacation homes. I am on a ‘poverty’ wage of 150K and I own a two bed condo with two pets and a car. I’m clearly a failure at life! Especially because I worked my way up from a poor family rather than the bank of mom and dad buying me my condo. That also tends to REALLY piss them off.
Are you dating women your own age? I’m a woman in my early 40s and have literally never met a woman my age who thought like this. If you’re dating women ten years younger than you you’ll be selecting for the type who likes to date older men - usually for exactly the reasons you complain about (they want someone to take care of them).
Ever since I turned 35 every women I meet wants this. I have never met a woman who wants an equal partner in dating since I was in my early 30s, over 10 years ago.
Yes I date women my own age. They are the ones who are the most vocal and adamant about it. When I meet women you are under 35, on rare occasional, they tend to be less aggressive about it. For example, women under 35 don’t ask me my salary on a first date, women over 40, almost always do. All they seem to care about is how much money I have and if I am going to give it to them. Like, they ask me to take them on expensive trips, buy them cars, and think going on $500 dinner takes should be a weekly event. They all have advanced degrees, PhDs, JDs, MDs.
And every time I talk about this, I get this comment. ‘oh you must only be dating shallow young women for their looks.’ No, I date average looking women who are my own age, and they almost exclusively want a 1950s style relationship, even when they are doctors, lawyers, etc. their ‘ultimate romantic fantasy’ is to quit their job and be ‘taken care of’.
I also live in Boston, the most educated city in the country, and yet all these educated successful women basically aspire to be financially dependent housewives. It baffles the hell out of me. I put in my profile on dating apps that I want an equal partner and I get weird messages about what loser I am from these women because a man’s job is to provide for her his woman and her career/job should be optional.
Last week I was on a date and this woman I was with told me she values her career and independence BUT she really is looking for a man who ‘take care of her’ such that she doesn’t have to work anymore. And I laughed and said that’s not what I am looking for, I want someone to split bills with and build a life together as a working couple and she got angry with me. Then when the check came she was like ‘WELL I GUESS I SHOULD SPLIT THE BIll’ all bitter and shit. It was miserable. This is like 90% of my dates, it’s the same stuff every time, it’s like they all copy pasted from the same script…
women’s social media is rife with this 1950s shit. all my friends and family are in partnerships where they both work and split bills and raise kids together. but on the singles dating market in my city, I never ever meet any such women who want that type of life. I probably should try to date at 25 year olds, because when I was 25 I was with a girlfriend who wanted to split bills and pay her own way. but in my life experience, once women hit 35 they decide they hate being independent career women and ‘deserve’ to be ‘taken care of’. when i was younger I never met women who talked that way.
I can’t argue against your lived experience, but it doesn’t match mine at all. Maybe they’re all sick of dating irresponsible losers and this is some misguided screening technique? Good luck out there, it sounds like you’re having a difficult time finding someone you like!
They think I’m an irresponsible loser because I don’t make 500K a year and own two vacation homes. I am on a ‘poverty’ wage of 150K and I own a two bed condo with two pets and a car. I’m clearly a failure at life! Especially because I worked my way up from a poor family rather than the bank of mom and dad buying me my condo. That also tends to REALLY piss them off.