• leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    17 hours ago

    May his hair grow inwards, and his haemorrhoids grow as large as apples.

    May he fall face first into a gympie-gympie bush and choke on one of its branches.

    May his digestive system reverse direction and develop acid reflux and Crohn’s disease at the same time.

    May every single orifice in his body become infested with particularly large parasitic wasps.

    And the worst one: may he develop empathy and common sense and realise what a plague he is on humanity.