US military: “Perfection.”

Hook up my US Robotics 56k modem and dial up to the internet, where I can chat with hot babes

I’ll be in my bunk.

I just use a mouse to type in stuff using the on screen keyboard. It’s annoying having to take the ball out and clean it, but you get used to it.

Did you know you can just buy a vending machine and put whatever you want in it? Vodka, blunts, heroin, Irn Bru, anything.

If you have to ask, you can’t afford it