I’m so sorry you lost your daughter. That’s such a painful thing to endure, I hope you and your loved ones are able to find peace and healing.
I did try CBT and it was awful. I have another thread on my old mastodon account, but the tldr is she said she’s going to assume I’m not autistic since I’m still waiting for my referral, that all my mental health issues (anxiety, codependency, small d depression) is just low self esteem. She actually said “I don’t know anything about autism and I’m not here for that”. She didn’t listen to me, kept insisting that my autistic communication difficulties (eg scripting, rehearsing) was “overthinking”, and when she asked if my relationship with her was good, I said neutral (which was me people pleasing) and she got upset. I discharged myself after about 6 months.
Later, as I was watching a video about CPTSD (as part of my codependency with my ex, he has CPTSD, I struggle to get over that need to help) there was one part where the doctor was talking about emotional flashbacks, there was one bit that made me double take, because it was exactly what I experience. and I checked my therapy notebook and what I wrote so clearly matched emotional flashbacks, and yet that therapist was so cluless, she didn’t even recognise it and said it was low self esteem. In her mind you can cure everything with mindfulness.
The funny thing is, my blood test phobia therapist knew loads about neurodivergence and even made it my homework to contact the local autism service and speak to my GP about a referral. Cbt worked well for me for my phobia, because it was an irrational fear. And that therapist was really good. Whereas for my anxiety, the “evidence for” in every case was “previous experience”. I did write a complaint in the feedback for the anxiety therapist, but I got no reply.
I haven’t given up on getting help, but cbt isn’t suitable for my type of anxiety (unfamiliar or unpredictable things create a mental block that stops me. It’s partly having to do on the fly processing, which overloads me and makes me shut down or default to scripts, I need to be alone to process anything. It’s better described as dread than anxiety. it’s common with autism, other autistics have said cbt didn’t work for them either). But I’m kind of stuck in limbo until I can get past the fear and get my own place. It’s amazing just how little help is available for my kind of difficulties. Also I can go from “I can do this” one day to “I can’t do anything” the next. My mum passed away last year, a month after I went no contact with my toxic ex, and since then, I’m struggling to find any motivation. I’m at a kind of maintenance level misery, bad enough that I want out, but not bad enough to find the energy to do it.
In terms of activism, it’s again the mental block caused by the unknown. If I knew someone else doing it, I would join. I’d love to get back into conservation work (I helped with some wildlife projects in my local park).
I’m so sorry you lost your daughter. That’s such a painful thing to endure, I hope you and your loved ones are able to find peace and healing.
I did try CBT and it was awful. I have another thread on my old mastodon account, but the tldr is she said she’s going to assume I’m not autistic since I’m still waiting for my referral, that all my mental health issues (anxiety, codependency, small d depression) is just low self esteem. She actually said “I don’t know anything about autism and I’m not here for that”. She didn’t listen to me, kept insisting that my autistic communication difficulties (eg scripting, rehearsing) was “overthinking”, and when she asked if my relationship with her was good, I said neutral (which was me people pleasing) and she got upset. I discharged myself after about 6 months.
Later, as I was watching a video about CPTSD (as part of my codependency with my ex, he has CPTSD, I struggle to get over that need to help) there was one part where the doctor was talking about emotional flashbacks, there was one bit that made me double take, because it was exactly what I experience. and I checked my therapy notebook and what I wrote so clearly matched emotional flashbacks, and yet that therapist was so cluless, she didn’t even recognise it and said it was low self esteem. In her mind you can cure everything with mindfulness.
The funny thing is, my blood test phobia therapist knew loads about neurodivergence and even made it my homework to contact the local autism service and speak to my GP about a referral. Cbt worked well for me for my phobia, because it was an irrational fear. And that therapist was really good. Whereas for my anxiety, the “evidence for” in every case was “previous experience”. I did write a complaint in the feedback for the anxiety therapist, but I got no reply.
I haven’t given up on getting help, but cbt isn’t suitable for my type of anxiety (unfamiliar or unpredictable things create a mental block that stops me. It’s partly having to do on the fly processing, which overloads me and makes me shut down or default to scripts, I need to be alone to process anything. It’s better described as dread than anxiety. it’s common with autism, other autistics have said cbt didn’t work for them either). But I’m kind of stuck in limbo until I can get past the fear and get my own place. It’s amazing just how little help is available for my kind of difficulties. Also I can go from “I can do this” one day to “I can’t do anything” the next. My mum passed away last year, a month after I went no contact with my toxic ex, and since then, I’m struggling to find any motivation. I’m at a kind of maintenance level misery, bad enough that I want out, but not bad enough to find the energy to do it.
Edit, found the thread
https://mastodon.social/@SilverArrows/113754157921999553
In terms of activism, it’s again the mental block caused by the unknown. If I knew someone else doing it, I would join. I’d love to get back into conservation work (I helped with some wildlife projects in my local park).