Donald Trump has found a new way to make America great again: paying people to become professional snitches.
On Tuesday, the president and JD Vance unveiled a $25 million fraud whistleblower fund, under which Americans who provide tips leading to successful prosecutions would receive large financial rewards. Basically, you can rat on your enemies to the government for cash now — and, Trump added, he will be the personal arbiter on whether the fraud is real and how much money you get.
Just think of it as a big reality TV show, like when Oprah gives out the cars except it’s that guy at work you once fell out with and you get to send him to jail.
How it happened…
- Trump: We’re not grifting enough.
- Miller: We’re grifting all the grift. Every scheme we know, in parallel.
- Big Balls: We’re not smart enough.
AISI is smarter. It can think of more. - Trump: I already asked the Google.
- Big Balls: We need a fraud-specialized training dataset.
- Miller: Say we’ll pay them to tell us about fraud schemes.
- Trump: I’m not paying them.
- Miller: You never do. Just tell them you will.
- Trump: Are you - a very bald and very short man - criticizing me?
- Miller: No, sir. ‘mirin’.
Don’t call Thiel’s fucktoys groomed for doge by their own nicknames. Ball boy here the one in question.
We need a word for people fabricating allegations. Snitch implies they are correct in their allegations.
This is not testilying, what is the word for fabricating scandals as such? Maybe we need to make a new word.
Ah, the good old Nazi Germany “Blockwart”. Yep, another tick off on the list.
Two things are all but guaranteed to happen:
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Narcs will narc on fraud that doesn’t really exist. Something, something, false flag fiesta.
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Naive, well-meaning narcs will narc on real fraud that is actually state-sanctioned and will find themselves on a list (or worse). This signals the fraudsters to get even fraudier. Lots of gaslighting of the narc may follow. Might even throw them into the loonie bin for such lunacy. And loonie bins are great for taking out those deemed to be trash, those blithering dissenting pains in the ass.
Watch your backs out there, yo. And each others’.
Trump will just pocket the money for himself.
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It’s a Symphony of Toasted Pain!
Republican presidents always seem to starts some neighborhood NARC program.
See George W Bush and the TIPS program for reference.
If there was any justice at all in the world, donnie and all of his accomplices would be frog-marched to prison to await their trials.
Dr. Mehmet Oz, who gave an incensed little speech about how people in California are being paid to unpack groceries and play mahjong in senior centers
I don’t even know where to start with this. This sounds like an AI hallucination.
Wouldn’t that come with the job of caring for the people at a senior center? Like, the ladies at the daycare I went to as a kid had to stock the kitchen and played games with us, seems like kind of the same deal depending on how much help the seniors need. Should they not be compensated for that?
I feel like that’s probably a huge misrepresentation of something legitimate.
Like maybe the found an activities coordinator or recreational therapist or something and asked them what they were doing that day and they answered “well right now I’m unpacking these groceries for a cooking class we’re doing tomorrow, and then I’m gonna go get things ready for game night, and I’m gonna be teaching them how to play mahjong”
Or maybe they just found the kitchen staff playing mahjong on their lunch break after unpacking a bunch of groceries.
Or someone working in care helping with grocery shopping and socialising with clients.
They’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats.
I’d… I’d like to be paid to unpack groceries and play mahjong in senior centers
I’d like to just find people to play mahjong with casually. Getting paid would be a bonus.
Fr, I’d work for cheap if that were the work
Mahjong is actually pretty cool once you know what’s going on.
Do I have to wait until I’m a senior?
Hi, yes, is this the White House? Yes, I’d like to report a convicted felon and fraudster who’s harboring an illegal alien wife. They receive insane sums in government support draining resources from real, hardworking Americans.
Where?
Yes, they’re actually in DC, the White House in fact.
…
Hello? Hello??
I know a guy who spent millions of taxpayer dollars running political ads to stoke his own ego. Maybe I can report him and get a payout.
Oh good. Stasi techniques.
Yes, but now your the Nazi for trying to stop a genocide, and your neighbors can rat you out for cash if you make anti-semitic comments like “Please stop killing brown people to build a Trump Tower on the Gaza Strip.”.
ZOMG!!! How can you write such things?!? You must be antisemitic.
Don’t tell my neighbors. They only hate state approved scapegoat citizens minorities, not True Americans like the non-citizen Israelis.
This double speak is getting cumbersome. Can someone ask the ministry of information to tighten up the propaganda? What is this amateur hour?
This is for kickbacks or bribes. You won’t be selected unless you know him personally.
It will be used for that. But it may also be used to put me in a camp for typng this comment… eventually
And if not this proclamation, then the next.
We are here. This is fascism.
They will take the tips and reneg on the payout, grifting 101
Why do we think it’s okay to link to clickbait publications that don’t publish any sources?
The Whitehouse ballroom? The reflecting pool? Trump accounts? Argentinian “beef”? Gimme muh money!!!
This is fascism. We are here
Been here, but yes.
The question is what the fuck will be done about it and how many innocents will be killed before it ends, if it ever ends?
Holy Shit, what the fuck did I just read…these people are clinically insane.
