I once won tickets to see a variety show in Vegas, and it had topless women chorus line dancing between acts. If you had asked me before then whether I’d prefer a variety show with topless women or without, I’d have said, “With, please.” But that would have been wrong.

I swear, they all had the same desperate fake smile as Katie Zacharia in that picture, and they all were pushing out their chests with their bolt-on tits as hard as they could. I remarked to my date that all of the dancers seemed extremely motivated to display the most fake parts of their bodies, as I’m guessing their teeth were all fake, too.

It was all extremely off-putting, like they were all victims of human trafficking. I admit I couldn’t stop looking, either. It was sort of like looking at a car crash if all the victims had their fake tits out.

On the other hand, the variety act itself was extremely entertaining.

But anyways, based on Katie Zacharia’s smile in that picture, I can’t help but remember that very odd experience. One of the reasons I don’t like Vegas.